Yesterday, I ran 5 miles on June 5 for NATIONAL RUNNING DAY!

corgi running

I’ve had a few wedding snafus lately, which sent my stress straight through the roof. So I ran. Yesterday was another one of those days where I got home from the hospital and literally did not want to budge off the couch. I whined about it for an hour and then finally forced myself to change into my running clothes and get my Garmin woken up. I told myself that if I ran 2 miles, I’d be content. But then I decided I should run 4, so I ran down whatever road I felt like and listened to what my body was saying (mainly SLOW DOWN!!!…so I did).

At the end of 4 miles, I was back to my front door. So I walked for a minute and decided my legs still felt pretty darn good. So I took off running for another mile. Up a gigantic hill. Needless to say, it was probably the best run I’ve had in a while in that I felt like I could just keep running forever.

I used to frown upon walk breaks but clearly they help me run further.

I didn’t remember that it was National Running Day until after my run, and then I was pleased with myself for not being a wimp and skipping out on the perfect weather (which is sooo rare for June).

And then I started thinking about why I run. At first I started running because my dad runs and I wanted to be just like him. And then I kept running because I was on the track/cross-country teams. In college, I started out on the cross-country team and then eventually left the team and started running on my own because I was struggling with some really hard to break disordered eating patterns.

Now I run because it keeps my sanity and keeps me healthy.

I didn’t start think about running for weight loss again until my first dress fitting, when my seamstress told me she would “fix my back fat” and that “even size 2 brides get this” if the dress isn’t fit correctly.

I balked.

I may not be size 2 but at 5’4 and 120 pounds, I am the last thing from fat. If she says that to me, an arguably fit and young girl I cannot imagine what she says to others. It made me sad. And kind of shook me.

So lately I’ve been fighting the battle of well I look good and shouldn’t be self conscious about my weight but now I definitely am. The solution has been focusing on healthy eating and just {relaxing} because *no-one* is going to look at me in my wedding dress and think “dang, that girl looks like a chunky monkey”.

Le sigh. Sometimes being a woman is quite frustrating.

Wedding brain

Some people get pregnant brain. I’m pretty sure wedding brain is a thing though, and I have it. I’m almost a doctor right? So I can say that? {Sure…}

I cannot concentrate at all during rotations. All I can think about is Pinterest and Lover.ly and how to best design my wedding. Do I want the chevron paper straws or the polka dot paper straws? Burlap table runners or no table runners? What should I make for my bridesmaids? Seriously y’all, the list goes on an on.

And then I try to distract myself with something else. Like cats. And babies (of which I see an abundance of at the hospital). And then my uterus is like “I’d like to have something cute now kthanxbye”.

So basically I go from being completely lost in wedding details to being 5 years ahead in my marriage and thinking about kids. Seriously? Brain, you just need to calm. down. now.

I ran 4 miles today in an attempt to get my mind to slow down a little. And that calm lasted through showering, some wine, and dinner. And then it was back to the pinning, the Southern Wedding mag browsing, and the fretting over the small things.

{Some super cute Southern details that I’ve decided must be present at my nuptials}

Paper straws

Burlap table runners

Lots of pictures and cute sayings

A groom’s cake (although I knew this all along and have had it ordered for a good 6 months…)

Red velvet

Mason jars for our sand unity ceremony

White linen for an aisle runner

5 things for a gloomy Sunday evening

So apparently blogging is not my forte. I can plan a wedding + deal with school but write a daily blog post? Apparently my brain just cannot handle that.

A lot has happened since my last post. Okay, at least it feels that way because I’ve caught the wedding & marriage bug and cannot focus on anything else. Patients? Sorry, I’m planning my wedding, I don’t have time for your ear infection (JK, except not 100%…focus has really been a challenge lately).

1. I’ve finally decided on my wedding theme. Thank goodness, because the countdown is dwindling. Again, with the focus though…Pinterest clouded my vision from my moment we got engaged because there was SO MUCH AWESOME EVERYWHERE. And then I discovered¬†Southern Weddings Magazine¬†and a light bulb came on. I live in the South, I love the South, we definitely need a have a Southern chic (a.k.a elegant + rustic) wedding. Done and done.

2. I’ve finally decided to change my name. My family had been pressuring me to make the decision TO change my name and I know my future in-laws were expecting it (although not getting involved in it at all, thank goodness they rock). I waffled back and forth between hyphenating, having two middle names, not changing my name, and just dropping my maiden name altogether. Well….I think I have *officially* settled on keep my middle name and change my last name. Phew.

3. I have been rocking the running. I’ve settled at 18-20 miles per week and hope to keep increasing mileage. Love it.

4. I had my first wedding dress fitting and am back in love with my dress. I suffered from some dress regret but putting on something other than the sample of my dress seemed to have fixed that issue.

5. I have been planking like a boss…my dress is a ball gown and I want my poor skinny arms to look a little less pitiful